- Set up your tree
- Install lights
- Install garland
- Install ornaments
- Enjoy
- Reach behind the tree to plug in the lights that your four year old unplugged
- Knock over tree
- *%#@(*$&%#@!!!!!!
- Clean up broken ornaments
- Put unbroken ornaments back in boxes
- Tell yourself, “Well, it could have been much worse.” Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. That’ll work.
- Take down old tree and put it on the curb. It was 15 years old anyway
- Buy a new tree
- Tell yourself, “Well, we were planning on getting a new one soon anyway.”
- Wait for UPS to deliver new tree
- Set up new tree
- Decide expensive new tree looks worse than 15 year old broken tree, call to have new tree returned
- Order new tree #2. Go really overboard this time and order a 10 footer
- Wait for UPS to deliver new tree #2
- Set up new tree #2. Marvel at how nice it looks
- Wait two days
- Install ornaments
- Take photos of new tree #2
- Write a snarky post on your blog titled, “How To Decorate Your Christmas Tree”
- Wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!
